Welcome to the
Patrick Star Show's Family Tree. Every tree has its roots,
and for Patrick, those roots go way back
to the patralific period. Much like modern day Patrick, these Stars have
a deep appreciation for food, though it was a little harder
to get those days. We had to do all our shopping
in the wild… [grunting] where the dinosaurs
were shopping for us. [screaming] Unfortunately, these Stars
also ended up as food. [screaming] Though the Star line
didn't end with them. Well I guess things can't get
any worse. Fast forward
a couple million years and we get Grand Pat Star. He may be old now,
but when he was younger, he was a bit of a rebel. With every ice cream parlor
closed, I started going to sweeteasies. Ah! Uh! [alarm blaring] And if they caught you with so much
as a sample size scoop, they'd throw ya
in the slammer. [grunting] And only fed ya prunes. That's where I learned
to like fruit. And besides prunes, Grand Pat also enjoys
smashing clocks… [grunting, laughing] tub rafting…. [unintelligible] I'm free! …and tricking anybody
that's younger than him, which is pretty much everyone.
Please, kind sir,
would you help me open my trunk? I've got feeble fingers. Why certainly.
Helping customers is our policy. [screaming] [laughing] He sometimes hides food
in unexpected places. Maybe my olive loaf shin guards? [sniffing]
Ah. My pasta salad insoles? [sniffing]
My trouser toast is ready. And he never, ever gives up. Did I give up when dinosaurs
stole my lunch money? I don't know. Did I give up
when the barbarian hordes swept across the ocean,
and stole my lunch money? I don't know. Did I give up
when martians invaded and beamed me on
to their spaceship and stole my lunch money? I don't know! Grand Pat's son and
Patrick's dad is Cecil, the next Star on this tree.
He likes clipping coupons… I just made six bucks in coupons
from a magic floating newspaper. Way to go, Dad! …giving advice to his son… You see, Patrick,
when an employee and an employer love each other very much,
a brand new job is born.
…and has a sizable mustache
collection. My imaginary son is in trouble?
Then I'm going in after him. He is especially skilled at experimenting
in the kitchen… [grunting] [roaring] [grunting] Delicious. …planning family vacations… Attention Stars,
your annual family vacation will be leaving the driveway
on schedule in 58 seconds. All aboard! ….and cutting the grass. Ah, it's great to see
real Kentucky bluegrass after all that artificial turf
I've been cutting.
How's that fertilizer
treating ya? [chuckles] Eh. You're chlorophyll's
looking great. Next! He avoids paying
for his newspapers whenever possible. I can see you Mr. Star. Nobody's home! And he is surprisingly hard
to scare. My sandwich! Get back here! [grunting] Huh? [grunting]
Whoa. Hey! And now for the hot stuff.
[chuckles] Get 'em inside. ♪ That's the best sandwich
I ever ate ♪ [belching] Speaking of hard to scare,
let's move over to Patrick's mom, Bunny Star. She's a fan of carnival games… Ah. [dinging] [screaming] …dancing tattoos… Whoo.
[chuckles] …and above all else,
vacuuming. [unintelligible] for a vacuum,
but I love it! [chattering] But she's not a fan
of all appliances, since the toaster really seems
to have it out for her. [groaning] [grunting] But as you can see,
she is tenacious and nothing can stand
between her and cleaning up a mess,
including dust monsters. [groaning] [laughing]
Can't get me. [humming] No, no, no!
[screaming] Bunny and Cecil's son
is the one and only, Patrick Star. Starring…
He may not be the sharpest, but he's certainly
the most entertaining Star in this tree. …me! Me is Patrick.
[laughing] And like all the Stars, he is
a surprisingly graceful dancer. [music playing] He has a very refined palate, at least when it comes
to stinky smells. Smells more like a rotten egg filtered
through wild strawberries. But definitely do not get
between him and his ice cream. I'm gonna get your ice cream! [music playing] O-Oh. [groaning] If this keeps up,
I'm gonna loose my lunch. [dinging]
Oh boy, lunch time! Patrick's little sister
and the youngest member of the Star family
is Squidina. While she may be shy
when the camera's on her… Patrick! You know
I have stage four stage fright! [groaning] [crickets chirping] [groaning] …she's anything but shy
behind the scenes. [growling] None of that on my set!
Do you hear?! [whimpering] Good boy. She runs a tight ship
and is pretty much the only one keeping Patrick's show on track.
Right now, I'm trying to book
an imaginary act for your imaginary TV show. Well, how's it going? They said,
their imaginary people are gonna call
my imaginary people. [laughing] She even takes charge
when she's on vacation. Listen up, people,
before we start the fun, Grand Pat, unpack the trunk. Patrick,
take Tinkle to the restroom. Squidina, get us some snacks. Mom, Dad,
stay where I can see you. Big new places can be scary. We rally back here in five! [whistle blowing] [chattering] Now we've gone through
all the relatives on the Star tree, but there are
two other important members of the Star family; their pets, starting with Patrick's
pet urchin, Ouchie.
Give us a kiss. Ouch. He may be prickly
on the outside, but he's an essential part of the Patrick Show's
production. [cheering] Hey, folks! He once even saved
Patrick's life. [screaming]
Oh! And has a nose for tracking down
almost anything. [barking, groaning] [barking, groaning] And speaking of smell,
the other Star family pet lives in the smelliest room
of the house. The upstairs bathroom. [groaning] Tell Ouchie, "I love him."
[groaning] You can do it, Brother. [groaning] [barking] Help! I'm too dumb to die! Patrick Star,
what did I tell you – about teasing the toilet?
– Ah. Tinkle may seem a little mean,
and he certainly doesn't like Grand Pat
very much. This is why
I hate the upstairs bathroom. But Tinkle is an essential part
of the Star family and an essential part
of the bathroom.
The downstairs bathroom.
[giggling] Uh, mustache before beard. [sighing] Ooh! Oh! Ow!.