uiuiet chatttter) Any idea whahat
ththis meeting is ababout? (unintelligigible babbbblin) OhOh, we're e gettg g a new b?
Oh, hohope it's s Hugo Bosos. ThThen we'llll all look snaz. ANNOUNCECE
ToniTonight's epepisode ofofFamy is b brought t to you byby Ho B. okok for us s in the
low-traffickeded corner r of Mas between n Eddie BaBauer and
ththe never-r-bought male jew. We arere an inteinterracial c.
Do n notdjusust your T TV se. I'd lilike to ininoduce e mys. My n name is B Bt and d this
isis my lovevelyife e Sheil. Two setsts of sasappointnted pas
right therere. -Welel only y her parerents.
ah! w ththat Angelela's
no lgeger with u us, we w will be y your new boss.
We're spsplitting g the jo' favoritete sgs w was
"E"Ebony andnd Iry,"," soso herwewe are. (c(chuckle) SHEILALA: Now we know
it's d difficucu to reremembr two new w nas,
so to mamake thingngs siere, -y c can call l us "Beilila" (Berert and ShSheila laugh) Boy, I b bet you
she's s a ndfuful in thehe bedm TwTwo hafufuls, babyby. mnmn it, I w went all l the y
aroundnd the roooom! Now, some of youou
may fifind the idea of t t bossess
You nonothing will be didiffer. And d our dooror will always ben
to you any time e of day.. And there isis no issusue
too big oror too smamall. Nicece tmeetet all o of you. So, as o our mascocot
Pawtucket t Pat saysys, "All ye e Feralilists, imbmbi" It meansns, "Everyrydy, drdri" ALALL: YaYay! Two o boes? ? This sucucks. Well, atat lea i it beatss
being g home with my wifife. LOIS:
Peter!r! Aah!h!hen didid we cutut back e -Heyey, Peter.r.
-Allll rht, , Sheila,, let'let's do it t righhehee
onon the desesk whe e Bert wat. No, Peter,
ththat's notot what this is.
SoSo, Petaround here been tasd
wiwrun momore efficiently,,os and partrtf thatat will inl ie
reasassigning g people based onon their abilitiese. WeWe want you to bee
the e office recyclablbles g. we'rere gonna
put a a ag on n you, anand wherevever y g go,
peopople will l know that's where thehey put
their recyclabables. PlPlease donon't justtt. Well, , at least make susure l
the liquids arare gone, , ple, bebere youou throw t them.
Smitrsrs, who o is thatt
young go-getteter? That's a a charactcter
frfr anothther show, s sir. -S-Simpson, , yosay?y?
-Preretty muchch, r. TVNNOUOUNCER:
We n nowetururn to TiTitanic, narrateded by G Gore. Icebeberg, rigig aheadad! excecessive ususe ofosossil f, climate changege
had d rendered the icecebeg nothining more t thaa smsmall c. Peter, whyhy are youou
wearing a flflag? Eh, itit'sart t of my jojob w
'cse o of my newew bosses.s. UhUh, is it t a promotion? Becacause it d doesn't
look l like a prpromotion. NoNo, it looooks likee l -A!!
-So,o, who arere the n new bos? Their namemes are BeBert and Sh.
My job s sucks now. It's wororse than n en
I I was a didinosaur w walr. -(whwhistles) Hey!
-What? -Pick that u up!
-P-Pick what up? -T-That!
hat? T That was s there. No, you u were looooki
at your r phone. -No, I wasasn't.
-Yes, you were.. SiSir, this is a neieighborhd whwhere we r rpect
the rurules of s siety..
Ooh! Sococie nowow.
Sir Sir Thomas M Morup h he. and urur neighghborhood.d.u I'm gogonna takeke a picture ou
and d post it on Facebebook. Oh, greaeat!
I I pe it t gets a l lot of lie You knowow what?
I footot my bag. -O, , you forgrgot your r ba. But I'llll be sure to comeme k -and picick this u u
-O-Oh, yes, es, I'm sure. ok, , I'm onlyly here toto cae
an a amusing c comrisoson o o my currerent job…..
-W-Well, bulully for y you.
…which I a am, at ththis mom, dedescribing to mymy family
in m mlivingng room. So, tetechnicalllly, yt ll, , how do y you know w I wat
telllling my w wife ststory and you're a f figment
of my imaginatation? I-I can assure y you
that is s nothe e case. ANUNCECER: We'l'll be rigight k
wiwith moree Gr i in the WiWi. PETER:
Well, I'll be.e.
♪ Windndow! ♪ ANANNOCER:R: Greg inin the Wino
broughght to youou by never-bougught male e jewel. We n need you to tastete testr
new varietieies of seaeasonal b, whwhich willll bcomiming don
thisis cveyoyor belt.. Place those onon this trtra. AlAll right,
thatat seems e easy enough. Alsoso, our dedelivery t tck drs ha to o pass
an annuaual ug t test, their ururine samples. t They'll l be comining down
this s same convnveyor bell in simimilarly c coled c cup, whwhicyou u will neeeed to ple
onon this trtray. Well, ththat doesnsn't
seem like e a…
Beltlt activatat. -(bubuzzer souounds)
-U shohowtime. niniffs) PuPumpkin, n n bad.. (s(sniffs)
Ug trurucker peeee. -(buzzzzer soundnds)
UTUTOMATED V VOICE:
ltlt speed i increasining. OhOh, boy. (sniffs)
Applple cinnamamon, not bad. niniffs) Wininter wheaeat.
(s(sniffs) L Lady trucucker pee. -(buzzer sounds)s)
Belt s speed maxaxum. . OkOktoberfesest. Trucker. Amber r uash, , yuck.
Trucker.r.ruckerer. And lelet's hope this onone
wawas an Asparagus I IPA. Too o bad about the lalatest
sales numbers, h huh? I don'n't talk t tanyonene
stananding at t urinalal. o babad about t the latetes? Thananks for w waiting. You knknow, our testingg
cameme back and showss we're e losing m market shshar ApApparentlyly, bodydy can ree
tour m mascot PaPawtucket t Pa SHSHEILA: Are you guguys
tatalking about workrk in the? OhOh, yes, c ce on i in, hon.
We'v'vput ouour wangs s awa. d d you tellll him
abououour testining? Yeah, , our customers fifind
a a 300-year-old m masct hardrd to relalateo;
they wanant a regugulaguy.y.
You knknow, a a guy who'o'd
drinink a beer on a totoile. (beer r can openens,lurprpin) Grififfin? PEPETER:
No. ItIt is you, Peter.. What arere you doioi? Playaying a gagame on mymy pne
and hahaving a b bee An G God williling,
going to the batathroom. Are e you thinking
what I'm'm thinking? He must t be (bleeee
onon his shihirt tai Ewyeyes, but a also, that's e exactly
the kikind of cucustomer we s should be appealiling t. I I think wewe found o o new m .
Are yoyoin, PePeter? MaMay I haveve a momenent
to talk itit over wiwith my me? Sure.. (t(two loud d fas) -I-I'm in.
-(loud fart) . WeWe did itit. replplacing PaPawtket t Pat -asHey, nowow youcot?
-Y-Yupd Jarered from S Subwayek. have t twohingngs in comommo. No! , , that's n not true,e, g
It's n not true!e! Peter, P Peter, she's garbrba.
-Letett go. . You're t the ki. Anywayay, tu o on the TVTV. They'r're about t to play
my f first comommercial. (seagulllls squawking) (barge horn blblaring) (Puertrto can n music
playining udlyly) (P(Peter sigighs) ANNOUNCECER:
Pawtucket Patrioiot: the perfecect beer
for NeNeEnglanand beachehe. (t(thunder c cracks) BASESELL ANNNNOUNCER::
Ladidiesnd g gentlemenen, thwinththe face ofay's
ththe Pawtucucket Patriot Brew, -Pawawtuet P Pat!
-(-(crowd chcheeng)) -(bones crunch))
-Aahah! Please kill meme! -S-Sll buyuy the beeeer, thou) a a five-houour bababall gam. Hey, guyuys,
I'm Billy onon the Strtreet, and I'm here w with
one of t t biggegest masascos -iAmererica righght now.
opulular, he m means.
NoNot la. Let meme do my i intro! Okay, wewe're gonna go upp
to p people and give a a dolr to everyrye who o recognizeses.
t's s go. Sir, sirir, si f for a dololl,
dodo you know who ththis is? -No.
-Oh, come on,
he's in n a new commerciala. Oh, yoyou don't owown TV??
I'I'm very i impreeded! Let's! Sir, s sir, quick, tell l m. h… ? the Pitctchm of f the Yearar. Who dodoesn't reread Adweek! (pananting): T Tre's, , uh,
there's s re rununning ththan thohought thehere'd b.
You mean T Turtle frfrom Entou?
You're t the worst!?-Oha Even w wse thahan
ththe Entotoure movie! Mark W Waherg g is one o of
ouour fistst producecers! I-I don't, uh,h, I-I d don't l
cocomfortablble doing g is. He wasas just gegettg a a cp
of coffefee th h his daughght. -They shshouldnonow you!
-Hey, , you' P Pawtucketet P. Yes,s, thank ynk y!
He's Pawawtucket P P! Nothatat I watchch this shshw I wawatch BlBlack rrrror and
ThThe Gobebergs, anand that's! Wow, can I getet
a pipicture with you?? -No!o!
-Whahat's his s prlem?m? Betweeeen you anand meI I thk
he mayay neea a lady fririen.
Peteter, I'm f famously gay! OhOh, my Godod,
he r r arounund the woworld. HeHey, so hohos the e whole
Pawtucuct Pat t thing gogoin? Aw, , it's thehe bes EvEverywherere I go,
people r recognizeze me and lov. And the otother day,y,
I even got t to hang o out with a a bunch
otherer famous s mascots.s. So, , yo uh,h, you reaeally me
all l those coe cookies inin th? -They'y're great!
-Likike, the t tree is wood.
-Ho, ho,o, ho. Like, , how doeses the trere
nonot catch h on fire?e? -H-Hey, you u wa to o cool t
withth tt drdrumming??
-Aflflac. Anywayay, do you h have
to waterer your hohouse? -'Cause I I would ththink tha.
-They'rere great!! You knknow what,t,et's j just ft
the e coersasation and d ju posose for ththe pict.
By the wayay, Tony,,
I'm sorry y your wifife was st by Dononald Trumums chilildr. (knock on dodoor) (alternSorry y about him.Hi, P.
ItItWeWe ruined d people's days in . WeWe ce byby to sharare
someme gat n news. ThThat's rigight. Yourur charactcter's so popul, you're gonnana have a a balln
in t the annuaual Quahog Para! o waAh. (laughs)s) Yes.mome!
I've seen thatat on the the In. Uh, , o is t this? Oh, thth's-thahat's mymy dog, B. Yohahave a dogog that mamakes s
and d drinks b beer? Not justst any beeeer. uckersrs Blend.. Pawt h, I a approved d that.
h, t this is j just whatat wne. -Y-You guys are greaeat toget.
-What arare you tatalking abo? Well, ththk abouout it, PePet.
e publblic loveses Pawtuckck P. ImImagine hohow much
they'd'd love toto know hehe has a f funny sididick g
whwho drinksksith hihim. Wow,You'rere saying you needed.
Wa mamascot's sidekick?k?n? Hold m my beer..
Uhp, thahat's alsoso
Hi, , I'm rtrt of Bertrt and Sh. AnAnd I'm Sheila. All right. Now, , before
we bring out Dauaughtry.y… LOLOISHurrrry it up!p!
Someme ous c came for r Daugh! …it's our plpleasure
to introduce P Pawtucketet Pt ththe Alcohoholic Dog.g.
Come on, y'a'all! , (c(crowd cheheering) ayay, Brian.n…
-Yes, Peter? -"PaPat."
-Pat. What werere you doing
up on ththe roof last nighgh? -W-Wl, Peteter…
-"Pat.t." because you totold me
drinks were on t the houses. (cheerering) Nice o one, Briaian. -"HoHops."
Let's hehear more from thehe ! CRCROWD (chanting)::
Hops! ! Hops! Hops! LOIS:
And DaDahtry!! I'm m sorry, s sir,
you can'n't park h here. Thisis spot isis reserveved. YeYeah, I amam the brereweryasa. No, you're t the brerewery mass
sidekickck. What t the hell? I'm the sidede? AwAw, my lifife can't t t any y. HeHey, at leleas
you're n not gettiting aacacd byby a goosese for no reaso. Hey, youou got bread, bro?o?
Give m me that bread, brbro. Come o on, bro. . Br (seamsms)
HeHelp me, O Offer G Goosefe! Gu, , from nowow on,
I need to stand d this upp inin the mididdle of your tab. (c(chuckles)s) Paw! 'Cauause he's a dog. Man, I hate e being a a sidekk
to t this stupupid dog. -I d doubt yououan, QuQuagmi. Nonene of you u can. -W-Well, I t think I understan.
-I'm talking, GlGlenn. I dodoubt any y of you c c ben
to k know whatatt's lilike ridide someonone's coatattas, to p play secocond fdldle
toto some fafat idiot, toto constanantly be settingp
♪ ♪ Stararring Joe Joe ♪♪ ♪ Doing alall sorts
of J Joe thingngs ♪ ♪ Not yoyour averara joe,o,
and d also he e cawalklk. ♪ PETETE …jujust a fooootnoe
to somomeone elslse's narrrrive. I tell y you, isis sucks w woe than b being m monkey
at Coaoachella. DuDude, it s sucks this yea.
Therere's no good bandnds. -Thehere's Banananarama.a.
-Thehere's, lilike, one e gooda. Hey, B Brian, yoyou nt
to go o to the p par The publblic park?k? Uh, nono, I don'n't think
thatat'd be a a good idea. -That't's what t they' c callin.
-W-Who'salalling it t Beaglema? Well, you jujust did. . Catchin. WeWellleavave it to o you
touin n it. Just like e Dasani r ruined wa. Hey,y, guys, s so you know
hohow water r tastes like noth? WeWell, whatat iit t tasted le
everery ttlele had a n nickel i? I wantnt you to sign my y est.
AnAnd I wantnt thawkwk a looe
inin yr faface. (snorts, s spits) AnAnd wantnt to hawkwk a loo.
I want(snonorts, spits) y as. I want youou
to a autographphy stomomach. Okay, fi, finebut t do me a a :
dot spsHey, Bririan?riend.d. WhWhy don't t you mind
yourur own (blbleep) busines? Oh, GoGod, againin
thth this BeBeaglemaninia? -Whehere'd you get thohose T-sh?
-From BrBrian. HeHe says itit realllly catchih. ell,l, it isn'n't. It's s a j.
-It't's no jokoke hihim, Dad. He eveven recorded The e Bite A. -(cat memeing, d dog barkiki)
-K-nine.e.-nine.e. -(-(wind gususting)
-K-nine.e. K-nine.e. K-nine. K-K-nine. K-K-nine. e as ancnchor throrowso rereporr
in thehe fld.. But firsrst, h, , hungoverer d,
wa t to go to o a paradede? DoDo that t sound lilike fun
on a S Sunday momorning? Not t just beieing worririe, but t everyonene elss s kids
araround youou, to For more,
here's T Tricia TaTanawa..
ApApparentlyly we've lost Trici. Tom,m, I'm statanding here
ououtside sosome public toils wherere ds w who are r realy
still-develoloping chihildre. The e parade is tomorrrrow,
but already the e giant t balls are ining inflatated, inclclun
two newcwcomers ththis yr:r: Pepepe, the alalt-right fro, and HoHopshe D Dog,
the beloloved erer pitchmama. Aw, man.n.
Brian gets h his own b ballo? Thisisan't g get any w wors. In facact, Hops s is so popopur
thatat hundrededs ofuauahog wn have volunteteered to o blowp
his s balloon. (exhalining) Aw, that's's the casashier
the C CVS I likike. NOUNUNCER 1: A And here e cos
the mamarching b band, led by bataton twirlrler
Jane Duncacan, ose auaunt is fafamously-t-ti
actress s Bebe Neueuwih. Jane lists herer hobbieses
as baton twirlrling and tryiying to cocoact heher . And,d, lk,
is thahat the bebeerascocot yoyou've allll been wawaiting f? ANANNOUNCER R 2:
That's rightht, it's H Hops the. Stupupidrianan. Can't t even
wawaveo ththe crowd d right. (crowdwd cheering) Hi! ! Thanks for comining out.! CROWD D (cntining):
HoHops! Hopsps! ps!! Whe'e's Dad?
He's m missing this. SaSay good-b-bye, Hopsps. HOTEL EMEMPLOYEE:
Excucuse me, s sir? Are yoyou a guesest of the ho? I-I, u uh…
m-I'm m just herere for ananve.
Oh, arare you papart
S Sarah's b bridal brbrunc? Uh, yeyeah. Yeahah. CaCan't-can'n't believe
shshe's headading downwnhe ai. Well, thth're making spepeechs
thehe Santa F Fe Loungege. If y you hurryry,
you can ststill get t yours . Well, SaSarah, anonoer tururng
popoint, a f forstucuck in theh. Who is he again? fromom the fununeral. u You u know, papart of meme
glalad Sarah h met Henrnry, bebecausshshe and I I had a pt
ththat if neneither ofof us wawas marrieieby 40,0,
we'd g get hitchch. And d I think k u all l know
hohow that w wou havave gon. (lauaughter) Everybodod get d down! (peoplple reamaming) (screaming) So, , toarahah and Henenry. May y theyavave a longng
and d happmamarriage.. (p(peoe scscreaming)g) Tom, I'm'm staining here
along g the rarade routete where e the Hops balloonon
has just been puncturered, and isis nowaiaining helelim (high-h-pitched)d):
down on ththe crowd,d, creatingng chaos
and wrwreaking h havoc.
havave an actctive shshoote! I pepeat,
we have e an active shootete! I can't t stress t the seriouss
of this s situation enoughg! (higigh-pitchehed):
This is s a disastster! (high-h-pitched)d): at d do u
mean? ? Th isnsn't my fafaul. (normamal voice): I'm nenevr
drdrinking this beerer agai. MyMy voice i is pervrvious
to heliuium. ♪ What a aess, h huh? HeHey,eterer, sorry y all thate
went to o my head.d. And I'm sorryy
I shshot your balloon.n. How'd you u get outt
of jail so fasast? I totook hosostage. -I-It's an o ongoi s situati.
-(-(muffd d gruntingng) (siren whooping)g) WOMAN: H Honey, close thatat ww
and come to bebed.
-Greg g Mitcllll, sometitimes I fefeel like
I mamarried yoyou and that w w. ThThtwo ofof you
arare more s silar t than you u. d d how's ththat? Wellll, for onone thing,
you'rere both a a real pane. udiencnce laughthter, applpls) CHOIR:
♪ Window.. ♪.