Hey, wy, where'suauagmire? tutually, I I haven'tt
seenen h all w week. Methksks he founund
a a new ladydy fend. s"e. ey, therere he is.s.
-Heyey, gu. WhWhat-What't's all ? Oh, , this litittle oogigie-we
is my y new frieiend, Albeber. o thinksks she's F French. unleless you s serve bread.
and d feels itit's not t truly l (bababy voice)e):
n'n't that r right, AlAlberti? You gogot serve bread?? I don't t believee shea So wherere have u u been
lo these e ma days?s? WeW
to? Well, , I decidd
to o open a cacat café.. Whatat's a catatafé? except o one wherere lots c cs
lilive and r roam. Hmm, metetnks the e cat caféé
sosounds le e a great t idea.
I chl duel!! PiPistols atat midnighgh (c (crickets s irping)) (gununshot) JOE:E:eter, didid you brbring
a a flamhrowower? PEPETER:
No. I alalso didn'n't bring g e of m
lalaser gunsns Ghostbususters. Joe, looook! Look!k! I I got MaMayor st!! Good. . Wel keepep him
titill we geget a new w yor. Princicipal Shepepherd, wewe wee
so surprprised to o get yourur l Wh-W-What's ining on? Mrs. G Griffin, , g and ChChrs
were cauaught eatiting. -What?
es. Theyey had t L Lost Boysys
of t the Sudanan ststandingn for themem
in g gym classss.
Nice b block, Griffin. NiNice shot,t, other G Griff. Thisis is terrrrib. Uh, whatat do you u think
about this, Peteter? (S: Bad.d.ery bad.d. Here it t is, guysys! WhI'm realalizingnk?
I may y ve a catat allergygy. I think k it greatat, Glenn.. And pepeople reaeallseem t toe
enjoyingng themsveves. BoBoy, if I cocould cleaean mf
with m mtongue,, I'd d never leleave the e house. (lghing)g) ? AnAnd it's l like,
if I hadad ne liveves, (laughghing) . YoYou's joinining me.. Afteter what hat happened d y
with Megeg and Chrhris at scsc, I I ,
and d five mininutes latate, GoGoogle Adsds suggestste. Yeah, , the worlrld's tterer
now that cororporationonread our momost pritete communinicats
and d th sell l back at t us the veryry thingss thet (firewororks whiststli, poppin) our r church a attendancnc.
I'd rrieied aboutt NoNow wi thehe kids shshowing
a cocompte lacack of mororal, g
to C Christianan family y cap Loisis, you knknow love e you la
brotother, b I I'm not d doing .
I'I'd only g g in an a awkwar,
campmpfire-cckckle argumument thth a counsnselor. JeJes has lolove for e everyo. Uh, actutually, whwhat Jesusus s ofof Westernrn cilizatation. Jes s has gunsns, germs s and s. (fire crcrackling)g) Sorry, t t wood isis very wew. , acactually,,
the e wood is s ve dry.. Wet t wood hisisses,
drdry wood c crackless duriring uomfofortable s silen. ire craccrackling) I lilike cututaws
whwhere I geget to be e sma. (c(cats mewiwing) What thehe…
what the hell t that? (g(gasps) (cats hihissing) HeHe Shut upup! (bleepep) Don't t look at t ! I'm dodomin! Brian? W Whaare yoyou doing g h? What a aI doing g here?
What i is althisis? I ppenen to own n this plalac.
It a catat café. w geget out ofof here.
You're m makg all l my cats s a.
That's's why thehey're hisissg Actuallyly, frighthten cats s h. Angry cacats moan.n. (fire e crkling)g) You n't t open thihis place e h. Go t to hell, , Brian.
Yodon'n't own ththis blockck. I'm not t going ananhere. FineNo wayay. I've a already h .
yourur worst n nightmarere. I've tolold you ababout
my wor n nightmarere, right?? -No, I-I-I don't t think so.
-Oh, b boy, get t comfortatable. I' but t it's actctuallinsiside,
whwhich is w weird, ririgh -Okay.
nd thehere's allll these p peoe know e each otheher in reaeal : my s second grgrade acheher, my,
JoJoe, but i it sn't q quite J. All the e kids arere
yellining ate inin German,n, and d I undersrstood thehem,
t t I don't t speak GeGerman. Tand I I haven't t been,
a any of f the rehehearsals,,, anand all ththe cue cacards e b,
anand that s show is a a cue ca. And d just as s at's sininking, I rerealize I'I'm so
the musisical guesest. I I mean, I I n't pullll that .
Who do I I think a am?
SiSilverchaiair? -A t the weirdrd thing i is I e
this d drListstening totovover..
otheher ople's's nightmamares is woworst nighghtmare! (shout
Oh. OhOh, thank k God. ) I I got toto shut dodo
that c cat placece. (hororn honks)s) Okay, , Peter, t theids anandI
arare off toto churccacamp. Meg,g,. Waitit minute.e. -Y-Y got anyny booze
in thahat ba misister?
-No, sirir. WeWell, thenen, how u u gonna
make a any fririendst cacamp? Now chchug all t this nextxto
a a lake, yoyou littlele rasa BRBRIAN (ampmplified):):S! It's's a nuisasanc
anand a threreat to pupublic h! ) Oh, , for God'd's sa.
City or tatat, bebe pred d or consusumed withn
2020 feeof f fecal matatter." Also, , Persian n cats? Let's s call tm m what thehey :
Iraniaian ts. ThThis entirire operatation
needto b be shut d down. Brian'n's got urur attentitio, ist takiking anyonone else
longero o wipe? More wipipes tse d days? I'm m taking s shorteroooops
bubut with l longer wiwipe and d ere's alalways
this o one lite e line. I ear r to God, , it's likike
ththe's a crcrayon dowown the. WaWait, excucuse me r r a minu. Son n of a gunun, it wasas a c. anks f for lettiting me
talkhahat out, e everybodydy.
Wikikipea statates thatt diseasase spreadad by expoposu toto infecteted cat fefeces. DaDamn i Bririan, get t out of . myustomemers. y They a also ringng you upp
one o of those e tabletss ththey fp araround at t you
anand then g gre whwhile you u pick frorom
the e inflateded tip perercenta. You ca" But thatat optn isis, by deses,
much lesesprominenent. YoYou're a j jer But t fine, ifif it's a a fight
u want, , you got t one.
I I wg Wellll, that's's enoh
of thahat show.. But, D Dad, wanant to seeee
what h happens a at ristiaian c. All riright.
BuBut they'r're thin n ice. (livy y chatter)r) SuSunrise WoWoodBible Camp..o I'm the e camp dirirtor Verar. Nice t to meet y you.
We're ththGriffinsns. Why y are all l these trtres
nched totogether?? Th-T-Those arere woo, ChChri. I onon like rorooms. Yes, thehe fresh a air reallllys clclear yourur md
of thougughts of T Tom Selckc. Oh. HoHow frhteneningly spspeci. Ug M Mom, thisis place s suck. 's even n worse ththan when n . y,y, Corporaral, what t are yu
iting g in your r diary? It's pririvate. keke a look.. Now,w, tt's sosome
goodod, clean n fun. Alsoso in the e 40s,
six millllion Jewsws died.
That's's i we'rere done. ThThis show w is not
for ththBugsteinins. cleverer news pupun, doesnsn'tey
work a as I haven't yemementiond the susubject ofof thetory—
atat Quahog'g's new cacat fé. Tom, I'I'm standiding here e te
of Q Quahog's s new t cacafé. Local rereside Bririan Grifffn
as a thrhreat to p public ala. Th's r right, TrTricia.
And d nce I'm m on localal T, (loude: : I'm gonnnna talk
a lilitt too l loud, and ththenccasioionally
I'm m gonna tutu away (quietete: from t the microrope
to int t at thingngs off-cacam, so my y ovall popoint is l lo. Powerfrful claimims.
ank you,u, Brian.. evythihing we neneed: t water, s sunscre,, (quiuiet):
FrFruit Rollll-Ups, -batteteries.
-Swie,e, you knowow you're e not allolow. DaDamn, I trtried
toto bury itit in therere. Wh a are you e even weararin? OhOh, thi
wo ncs Da
ItIt's sadhehe's not a around
to w watcher s son go babald. Brn,n, I'm glalad you'rere he. BaBased on t the varioious publ, ththe cityty has didided
to s shut thisis establilishnt . ReReally? YoYou're clolong the ? That's r right. ThThks to yoy,
I' I'm out ofof busess.s. I cecertainly y hope youou're h.
CoCome on,ocock it up.p. til l the Boarard of Heaealth
ves the e okay, yoyou're dono. Wow, I I actualllly go
the placace shut d down. I'm glglad I wasas her
for thisis, Brian.n. WeWe've halyly done ananythig
togeththerince we made ththat fiberer comrciaial and d
toto use cododwords fofor poop. Wow, B Ban,
I've neverer felt soso regul.. Yes, y you seem m exceptioionalg -p-proper bobody hlth.h.
-Thahat's righght. JuJust two s spoonfulsls a day
stay y regular r and actitiv. – e Oh, ar, , that wasas a mistata.
(s(staers) Y You mean,n,
yoyou're abobo to be a activ? CuCurrently y acve. Cutoto the shohot of thehem
stirirringhe p product i into w! ANANNOUNCER:R:
Take a a massiveve comfort. ) Oh, God!d! Oh, , there's s regur
on the c carpet! AhAh, there'e's so mh h regul! (crickckets chirirping) ofesus c coming? s Okay, a lilittle darark
t the hair r there. Let's s ghten itit up.
Lighteten it u Eyeses should d be be. Rememember, hihisty saysys
thatat Jesus does nololook like a a traditioional mann f, w OkOkay, let't's put ththose w
for now.w. toto hing yoyou all n sign youour coractcts with G G. Contntracts wiwith God?? Yep. I It's a wrwritten mmmmitt
to fororgo all a alcol, drs anand self-p-pleasure.e. Yeah, , I'm gonnnnhave
mymy lawyer r look at t thi. I I tell youou,it's a. Now w th that t cat caféfé is g,
I cacafinally y get backck to my y favoritetear
anand do somome writining. Whoa, sosorry.
CaCan'let yoyou in thehere.
What? ? I come i ihere
all the e time. Well, , apparentlyly, due totoe
recentnt plic hehealth cononce, the d anyny public c establisishme. Wh?! Y You got t to be kididdinm Wellll, th's a all rightht, Br.
We c c go to my writining sp. -Brian! ! Look at t jump!
-(kids l laughing)g) Look at t my jump!p!Loo! This p place hasas the beset
pia a and Pepspsi, Brianan. e e b psi. Oh, nono, pizzaza and Pepeps! -O-Oh,ey, PePeter. Comome on .
-(catstseowing)) Thananks for c coming byby. AwAw, no proroblem, bubuddy.
He, I brbrought yoyou somethth. I fifigured ananyoneivining ale
withth 73 catsts eds toto have a a double-X-XL
nnnnie Mousese sweatshshirt. Thanank you soso much. Thison't't fit at t all;
it's pererct. So, hohow's it g goi? WeWell, not t d.
GoGot plentyty of compmpan.
WeWell, thatat's good.d.Im So, , can I geget you
WeWemethining to drirink?y bu. Sure. WhWhat have e you t? WellI'I've got w water
with cat hat haiin it.t. Ehananything e else? I've got l lemade
with c cat hair r in it. Uh, kindnd of a susummerrinkn. OhOh, sure..
Cat t ha gingeger ale? -Nope.
-Cat h hair ed t tea? -U-Uh, againin, summerer.k inin the friridge, seeee whaI ? -PETETERSure..
-(catsts meowingng) Somemeone juststad kittetens
inin my moututh. WhWhat's up?p?
Whatatre you d doing? tryingng to figugure outhi, whwhy we havave
ststupid p purplcoucuches. HaHave you e ever knowown anyone
in youour life toto own a p purple cocoh? I would d assumeteteve Harvev. Thatat actualllly soun r righ,
but-bubut what i is thisis? A pipicture a a mountaiain?! WhWhen he wewe ever bebeen
to a a mountaiai! -What t mountainin even isisi Yeahah– I donon't know,w. Briaian, is ththis all b because
u haveven't beenen ablee -to o get a drdrin
-I-I haven't't been abable
too o anywherere.
No dogogs allowewed
Yes, I w was thinknking abouout. Whatf f there wawas a wayy
for r you go o out? "E"Emotionalal suppo a animal? Wearhis,s, every p place
wiwill have e let youou in. -So o ng as I'I'm with y you.
-Whe y you evenn
get ththat thihing? The leletts are iriron-on. The ve heI wowod
. One pepe
You'u're buyining one e pe? Yep.p.
You u don'
yo in anan oie I wowork from m ho. -Ughgh.
-(-(beepg) ANNOUNCECE Office e Depot.
We'r're cong, , Blockbustete. MoMom, we dodon'reallyly have tt
babaptizeddodo we? , , Meg, jusust hang
towardrds backck of the e line. -C-CIS: Goodod plan.
-Chris, , stop rieieving youour. You'u've g thohose pee e eye. BDot t again.is. -Sisister Loisis
-Oh, n no, thanknks. Y-YoYou'd haveveo way
of knonowing thihis, but t I'm actutually hining
a a very gooood hair d day WhWhen my hahair gets s t,
I I tend to o look likike frazazzled Sanandra Bullllock
fr one o of her cocomedieses. My ex-huhusband hahad Nazi
papherernalia ana he ft me. SoSo I said,d, "That s shirt
lookrealally good d on you,"" and d he says,s, "Than, , my
boboyfriend d got it f for m" It's likike, wa, a all I saiad
wawas I likekehe shirtrt, and hasas to dropop "boyfriri"
ke a nucuclear bomomb? -I-I mean, t that' him, righgh?
-Y-Yea I donon't know.w.
Ugh, yououe suppososed
to b be givingng me emotionanal pport t right non. Let's s just g t to the baba. No, nonoBrian, s say sometethg
ninice aut m me right t now. CoCo on, Stetewie,
ththat's notot whathisis is. It is s now.
y someththing nicece about m e or li a a StStewiewaitit.
I I need youou to get t in I'm gonnnna dot. (sinteter music c playing)g) -(meowining)
-O-Okay, whoho ready
for sosome breakakf… Oh, , cr, anotother one e die.
Hey,eyey, stop e eating heher! Get t away!
Okay, nenew house e rule. We came e to see h how it's s .
, "how's's it goining"?
I I got deadad cat on n a pitch! I I don't eveven know w whichn
to p put it inin! Trasash?! Yardrd triingsgs?!
ReRecycling?g?! I jujust put w whater inin what. JOE:
y,y, guys! C Check it t out! Cat t legs!
Cats, ts, arise. Guys! ! It's wororking! -(dog g rks)
-(-(cats meoeowing) I'm nonot de! Okayay, we're e gettinouout
of t this placace tonighght. Evereryo clearar on the e pla? RIRIS:
YeYep. Meg a and I swiwitcfacs -likikin the m mov Face/Offff?
-No.o. . Then we hahave an isissue. wewe sho k Mom fifirst. Why y would yoyou ink ththat? UgUgh– Justst, u twoo
followow my leadad. You u know, VeVera, I'veve bn
so moveded by my t time he atat camp, w wonder ifif I cod
perhrhaps y grgrace toninigh? OhOh, that b be lovelyly, Loi. WeA fully y counted-d-out,
wMiMmomoment osisilence.econd to o opetheir r eyes is s ga. -(sisighs)
-MALE VOE VOICE:sst.t. Up her. My eyeyes are opopen, to ♪ There wawas someththg
inin the airir that ninigh♪ ♪ The starars werere o
♪ ♪ ThThey we shshinin' ththere
for yoyoand me ♪ ♪ ThThough we e never ththght
♪ that w we coululd lose ♪ ♪ There's s no regreret. ♪ (owlwl hoots)) Ugh.
G Good riddddan,
Christiaian familyly camp. Totatally.
I willayay, thoughgh, iteemed d like Chrhris
enenjoyed msmself therere. Wellll, Meg, y you kw ChChris s
(quietetly): a a little bibit , and d I know y y're
nonot particicularly p popul or b beaiful, , but you u do he
a adad on yourur shouldeders. So releligion isisn't nna a be
fofor peoplele like yoyoand m. ItIt's bicalally for ( (quietl:
ststid peoplple like C Chris.
So to o summarizize,rel? NoNo gd. Butut for
(quietlyly): idis s like Chrhr? -Pererfect..
-Wt t are you u guys
talking g abt? -How hanandsome yoyou ar
-R-Really? Sweaear to Godod. You'rere a monstster. (ccketets chirpiping) (mutteters)
Stup lawaw. Bannining dogs.. Kibbs anand bits a and bitss
and d ts. You! Y f a bitctc
! -W-What th….?
-Ha-a-ha! (both h gruntingng) (car hororhonks) YoYou thirststy, boy??
Yeahah, yore a a thirstyty bo. -Wait t a minu, , we're fifight!
-(grgrunts Aah!h! AnAnd now, t time to m mak
my gegetaway. Bria o oh, my GoGod!
ArAre you u all ght?t? Here, , leme menend you,
That is bebetter.. What a are wdoining? . (sighshs)
dodon'You knknow what?t?ymor. I'm sorrrry I stroroyed
your dreream, Quagagmi. I know y you lov t that caféf. w. U Um… thahanks, Bri Bri. WhW di you
opopen that t place, a anyy? Wel that mayaybe I couould p somomeg
good in n the worlrlfor a chcha. Whatat do you u mean? I meme that– – uh– I'veve always s be aboutut sx
and seduducing wenen, but you u kn what?t? Somedaday I'm nnnna be deaea. is thahat legacacy? And, I justst thoug
if I c created s somethingg maybybe peoplele would
tmemberer me for thatat.y,y, u prprobably t think
that's s spid.
Quagmirere… I'm m here foror. Thanks, , Brian.
You u want to o go for a a wl I always wanto o go for a a wal. Hey,oes s anyone k know whatas
gogog on witith my brorown cra? fr the b box for a a while,,d anand now itit's bk. It a a little-e– I don'n't kn,
oily a and misshshapen? I't bubuit looksks like
it's s seen me h heat. The ty r repealed d a law
from p public bubusiness t to. An. ♪ builtlt this cicit ♪ There.
Nowow it's inin
yourur hd, toooo. WeWell, m glglad you g get to gt
ininublic agagain, Bririan. I'm gladad you, ChChri and M Mee
back f from th C Christianan c. Oh, , she was s so mad I I dragr
Hey,toto Christitian camp,p,? shshe ran awaway to veve
with a a Japanesese familyl. ( (Japanesesetyle mususic play) (oers lalaughing)).